Monthly Archives: September 2009

fun with search engine queries

We’re getting into the heart of MBA admissions season, which means that I’ve been running around like a madman these past couple of weeks. Several graduates of the Ninja GMAT program are now focusing every ounce of their spare energy on application essays, so most of my non-tutoring time has been occupied with application essay editing. No time for GMAT blogging, really.

That said, I have several half-finished posts in the works. A full breakdown of the 2nd edition of the Official Guide for GMAT Quantitative Review might be coming soon (there are only 74 new questions–they ripped us off!), along with a lecture about why you really shouldn’t stress about 1st-round MBA deadlines. This is the time of year when people start to lose their heads, and I’ll do my best to encourage some rationality and calmness.

But for now, I’m a little bit tired after an insane couple of weeks, and I feel like writing a nice, frivolous post that has nothing to do with the life of a GMAT tutor in NYC. So here comes nothing particularly useful. You’ve been warned.

Thanks to the miracles of WordPress, I can access a list of all search engine queries that lead people to my little GMAT tutoring site. And some of them are pretty funny. Here is a random sampling of my favorite queries, along with some completely unnecessary, non-GMAT-related responses:

query: “gmat tutor in new york, $20”
response: Good luck with that, buddy. Funny, I think they found my website because I said something about other companies’ tutoring rates exceeding $200 per hour. Google forgot a zero?

query: “what are my shortcomings”
response: I have no idea, but I can tell you about my shortcomings if you want. First, I’m not a perfect GMAT tutor all the time. There. I said it. And sometimes, I leave just a little bit of orange juice in the carton in the fridge.

query: “gmat essays who cares”
response: Nobody, really, unless you really embarrass yourself; get something above a 4.0, and you’ll be fine.

query: “gmat real illegal questions”
response: *gulp*

And a few more, without my dumb responses:
“many dumb mistakes gmat math”
“an essay about nyc”
“worried about gmat”
“gmat gifts”
“gmat is expensive”

And my personal favorite, which led several different users to my site: “gmat is hard.”